Assimilated Press- Flying Fish Cove, Christmas Island, Feb.5^th 2008 -

A source close to a taxi driver who knows someone who knows Britney Spears, reports that 4 men wearing plumed hats and sporting imperial moustaches arrived last week in a prop plane. They have since organized a coup and are now in charge of the island. Calling themselves the Quadrilateral Commission, they are known to brandish their steel when provoked by trolls, sock puppets, or cyber-flamers. Using both sharp wit and blade they soundly defeated Rod B. Aikin, the mayor of Flying Fish Cove, in a rousing bit of brisk swashbuckling, general intemperance, and dashing swordplay (which also later led, to a game of darts at the “Bore’s Neck� (a nearby pub) where the mayor again was soundly defeated . The Commission has effectively replaced all other government agencies.

The Quadrilateral Commission has annexed the entire island and declared it an independent sovereign nation, no longer a possession of Australia, nor residing in the same plane of existence as the rest of the world. The entire population of 1,497 people supported the revolution including former Mayor Rod B Aikin; who, technically led the insurrection by casting the first stone against himself in a nationally televised stupor. “He picked up a large chunk of feldspar and serendipitously whacked himself unconscious� said Lance Yerbuti, the general manager of WDIM, the island’s only television station which broadcast the event.

Propellertalk’s foreign correspondent, Dick Hertz, interviewed the members of the quadrilateral commission but unfortunately he speaks only Swahili and no one on Christmas Island understood a word he said. There is some indication that certain cabinet posts have already been filled.

Surgeon General- Dr. Frank N. Stein of the Stein Institute of male enhancement.

Secretary of Static- Nikola Tesla

Secretary of the Treasury- Buenaventura Durruti

Secretary of Defects- Ken Coates

Atony General- Judge Judy

Secretary of the Inferior- Mr. Ranger

Secretary of Counterculture- Tad Daley

Secretary of Commercialism- Mr. Whipple

Secretary of Labor- Tom Joad

Secretary of Transmutation- Paulo Coelho

Education Secretary- the Dalai Lama Tenzin Gyatso

Unfilled cabinet positions include:

Stealth and Hoarded Services -Dept. of Lethargy- Veterinary Affairs- and Homeland Stupidity

The Commission has issued a few edicts, one claiming that the new national language will be a form of Sanskrit. The other decries that there is no wearing of tidy whitey shorts, all citizens must wear their underwear on the outside of their clothing so that agents of change can check. (in honor of Esposito in Woody Allen’s film ‘Bananas’ [sings rebel song] Rebels are we, / Born to be free, / just like the fish in the sea!)

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COMMENTS:

MrSpudskull-

I didn’t read the article but I heard there was a war on Christmas. Apparently this is the eastern front. I am for war. Everyone who isn’t is against the troops and should not be allowed to breathe. I don’t think “The Simpsons” is very funny but I watch it because that Flanders fellow knows what he is talking about. Personally I’m a pro-lifer and support the death penalty. I spent Martin Luther King day re-reading “the Bell Curve” and I bury my money in coffee cans in my backyard. Right next to my victims.

Radiofreeeuropa -

Er, uh, Right… I usually don’t respond to posters who may be serial killers. I believe this is a good policy. As for the article, though they do seem to have the support of the islanders, I question the 100 % figure. Surely there are some who oppose this coup. It sounds as if all you need to do to effectively rule Christmas island is buy a few rounds at the “Bore’s Head” and show people your sword.

2facedtroll-

We Christmas Islanders are for shavng the heads of all conservatives. We will write “property of Hillary Clinton” with special liberal indelible marker right on your heads. Then we will have abortions and gay marriages in your living room. Then when your not looking we will take your wallet and give it to the government so they can pay welfare mothers to train for careers in prostitution . {he, he, he, this is fun! I’m really Sean Hannity drumming up some extra division and segmentation because my career in media is heavily invested in this type of subterfuge, but these clowns will never suspect… they are OWNED! ho, ho, ho! How’s my Exxon Mobil stock doing there boy?}.

Bkumm-

A “troll” is someone who posts contentious and usually irrelevant or off-topic messages with the intent of baiting other users into an emotional response or to generally disrupt normal on-topic discussion. There are many different kinds. This troll is also a “sock puppet” or false identity. 2facedtrollster is pretending to be a member of group A but is really in group B. He then sabotages group A by posting outrageous comments as a member of A to anger group B. He hopes to start a “flame war” or emotionally charged series of exchanges between group A and group B. Obviously it doesn’t have to be political. It could be anything that people take pro or con positions about.

Halitosis -

Those moonbat liberal islanders are ruining all the slogans. Huck Manatee promised to buy them all a shot of Holy Water, but do they take him up on it? No! instead they follow those codless pinkos. Look at those appointments! Why every Ann Coulter loving American knows Mr. Ranger is pro’lly in cahoots with Al Gore to take away my right to indiscriminately belch fumes from my 20 cylinder SUV and generally dump toxins wherever I choose! God is on my side! (How can I suck up to Mark Jamus this week?) That quadraphonic commission accepted emails from known subscribers to Rolling Stone which means they are corrupted by evil and maybe even left handed!

Radiofreeeuropa-

What does Christmas Island have to do with “Ann Coulter loving Americans”? How does this address whether or not anyone on the island opposes the coup? Mr. Ranger is a fictitious cartoon character, (as are quite a few commenters on the Propeller site - members previously banned, resurrected as new cartoon characters to continue their mischief, or extract revenge.) We also have numerous fallacies here. There is nothing in the statement or the article that associates the islanders with “liberal” politics. This is the irrelevant fallacy. This commonly employed fallacy make use of premises which are logically irrelevant to the conclusion. Propellertalk recommends simply pointing this out when you encounter this on threads. “Your comment is not relevant to the discussion”.

annoying1-

Radio you are trying to interfere with perfectly good propaganda which is of course something only Godless communist puppy hating spawns of Satan would do. It’s Clint Billton’s fault.

Gamahuche-

Ah yes, the Ad Hominem Argument! This is quite common on the threads. Rather than discuss the article or the comment, the commenter or the writer of the article is personally insulted. A commenter who can only make their case by attacking others seldom has a case to begin with. The correct way to evaluate the merits of a position is by looking at what the argument says, not by distracting people’s attention from the argument by insulting the person and then, unreasonably, concluding that your insult is a good reason to dismiss the argument. Propellertalk recommends that when you encounter this type of discussion on a thread that you point it out. “Annoyingsockpuppet, your ad hominem attack does nothing to support your argument”.

I.B.Indenial-

The Universe is only 10,000 years old. This is a fact because it says so in the bible.

Radiofreeeuropa-

That is tangential from the article we are discussing but if the universe is 10,000 years old; how is it we observe light from stars billions of light years away? Claiming the Bible as an authority is a red herring or “genetic fallacy”. It cites origins or history of an idea as precisely accurate which is not necessarily so. It is fallacious to either endorse or condemn an idea based on its past—rather than on its present either in a positive or a negative sense, unless its past in some way affects its value in the present . For instance, the origin of evidence could be relevant in its evaluation, especially in historical investigations. The origin of testimony—whether first hand, hearsay, or rumor—carries weight in evaluating it. The Bible is hearsay at best as an authority, it is not fact. Rather it is a testimony that may or may not be so. It is not an accepted premise in itself.

This is called hijacking a thread. Injecting an irrelevant topic into a discussion. This is generally frowned upon by most Propeller inhabitants. I just made the mistake of replying to the poster which aids in hijacking the thread. A better response would likely be “Do not try to hijack the thread please.”
I.M.Hating

Those ******* are destroying everything. They and their *** friends are bad.

Gamahuche-

We encounter many forms of predjudice, bigotry, and unwarranted hatred on the internet. It’s not always as blatant as I.M.Hating’s post.

FinkratAzzclown-

Clint Billton got a lube job at a service station on Christmas Island! I hate Christmas Island! We shoulda’ kept nuking that place, if we had, there wouldn’t be any people there to support the coup. Rob Patertson has spoken to a major deity who knows Paris Hilton and this deity wants all patriotic Australians to place an embargo on all goods from Christmas Island, assassinate the leaders, and to send him as much cash as possible. All people with mustaches are drug addicts. These despots have moustaches. They are drug addicts! Let someone without a moustache take over instead of these drug addicts.

Radiofreeeuropa-

Mr. Azzclown, Your premise that all people with mustaches are drug addicts is false. Frank Zappa, Teddy Roosevelt, and Martin Luther King all had moustaches, and none were drug addicts. Rush Limbaugh is devoid of moustache yet he is a known drug addict.

FinkratAzzclown-

I will gouge your eyeballs out and use them for golf balls.

spambot-

Visit my crappy site about crap and get viruses, worms and trojans for free! www.visitmycrappysite

Sockpuppet2-

The Quadrilateral Commission are agents of the Israeli government who are for killing puppies.

Neophile-

Even if you were correct in claiming they wanted to kill puppies, what makes you think they work for the Israeli Government?

Sockpuppet2-

Everyone except me and Sockpuppet 1 works for the Israeli government , and I’m not so sure about Sockpuppet 1.

Sockpuppet1

Yeah.

walterdizzy-

To cast the Christmas Island Coup as a solely private moral question,…is to lose touch with common sense: How human beings treat one another is practically the definition of a public moral matter. Of course, there are many private aspects of human relations, but the question whether one group of human beings should be allowed to take over the political reigns of another by out-drinking them is not one of them. This coup is an inescapably public matter.

Neophile-

Walterdizzy’s comment seems reasonable on the surface yet it is an example of circular logic. The conclusion occurs as one of the premises. More generally, an argument is circular when it assumes any controversial point not conceded by the other side. Propellertalk recommends simply that circular arguments be recognized as such.

Troll1-

Global warming caused Al Gore! Mexicans caused the holocaust! Glass is Metal! Canadians caused world war 2!

Bkumm-

In online forums, the most effective way to discourage a troll is usually to ignore him or her, because responding encourages a troll to continue disruptive posts so “Please do not feed the trolls”.

Rascal123

Wha da fa? Dem newfangled commissioners on Christmas Island R ‘gainst duh Butch administration. You know Osamer Been Lacky isa jest applaudin’ dem. Dey are Been Lacky Lubbers. Yup.

Bkumm-

Rascal, aside from providing us an authentic example of linguistic gibberish, has also provided another fallacy. The red herring fallacy known as guilt by association. By merely verbally associating the new commissioners of Christmas Island with “Osamer” he is attempting to discredit them. There is no validity to this type of argument whatsoever. Where did the claim that the Quadrilateral Commission was against the Butch administration come from? This does not even merit being called hearsay. Respond to these types of arguments by labeling them what they are. Rubbish.

Modusoperandi-

According to the American historian Robert Paxton, Francisco Franco was “a pathological hostility to democracy, liberalism, secularism, Marxism and especially to freemasonry” . Franco came to power via a coup ‘d tat. The quadrilateral commission also came to power via a coup ‘d tat. So the quadrilateral commission is a pathological hostility to democracy, liberalism, secularism, Marxism and especially to freemasonry!

Radiofreeeuropa-

Modusoperandi has made a leap of logic that is not necessarily so. Can you spot it? This is known as a false or weak analogy.

A is like B.
B has property P.
Therefore, A has property P.

This is not necessarily so.

DARKROVER-

RFE IS TRYING TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD AND TURN IT INTO SATANLAND!!!! HE IS SOME KIND OF MONSTER AND HIS FRIENDS ALL SMELL BAD! I HATE THEM ALL! WE THE GOOD PEOPLE WILL NOT ALLOW THEM TO SMELL THE PLACE UP EVER! GO BACK TO **** YOU ****!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Gamahuche-

Ah yes the shouter. When one has nothing reasonable to add to a discussion but wishes to throw some ad hominems and epithets around it’s best to do so as LOUDLY AS POSSIBLE!!! This behavior is completely annoying.

nosfera2-

My position is superior. You suck. You are a leech and some kind of walking dead flesh eating zombie. I will cut and paste opinions of very skeptical origins for numerous posts in a row making it appear as if I am an expert yet I actually have given no thought whatsoever to the subject at hand. I merely parrot and accuse others of possessing my own traits. Put down that crucifix!

Concernedtroll-

I LIKE Dick Cheney, I REALLY do. Congress should proceed with impeachment so all these accusations of collusion with oil companies and Haliburton, which are clearly nonsense, can be laid to rest. Allowing the evil Whig media to continue to talk about this without being able to hear Mr. Cheney’s explanation is bad for his poor little heart. Let those wombat wahoo winkers who are obviously hoagiehonkers expose themselves as the rotundifolious liberian traders they are!

Neophile-

A concern troll is a pseudonym used by a user whose point of view is opposite the one that the user’s sockpuppet claims to hold. The concern troll attempts to sway a group’s opinions while claiming to share their goals, pretending to be “concerned”. They attempt to plant fear, uncertainty or doubt among a group. We have a few regulars on Propeller that poke fun of this type of troll by being very obvious about it in a humorous way. So not all trolling is a detriment to a site.
A famous example of a concern troll is when in 2006, a top staffer working for incumbent Congressman Charlie Bass (R-NH) was caught posing as a “concerned” supporter of Bass’s opponent, Democrat, Paul Hodes on numerous liberal New Hampshire blogs, using the pseudonyms “IndieNH” or “IndyNH.” “IndyNH”. He expressed concern that Democrats might just be wasting their time or money on Hodes, because Bass was unbeatable. Bass ended up losing the election and some theorize that deception may have backfired on the perpetrators.

Schizoidman-

Aghh I’m scared. If we don’t give up our freedoms and privacy then government won’t protect us! We must give up freedom in order to secure freedom! The Quadrilateral Commission will not stop at Christmas Island, next they will take North America. Aghhh! We must attack Easter Island and any other island with a Christian holiday in it’s name! If we don’t the boogiemen will surely get us. Aghhh!

Bkumm-

At least Schizoidman’s comment is not off topic. However it is an appeal to emotion. This is a type of argument which attempts to arouse the emotions of its audience in order to gain acceptance of its conclusion. An argument from fear is often a ruse . It is possible that the argument is plausible, but more evidence of plausibility is needed, not simply blind fear and speculation.

Lusus Naturae-

I have lived here on Christmas Island all my life and I tell you the atom bomb tests have had no effect whatsoever. This coup ‘d tat has had even less effect. I woke up with a fever yesterday. There was a coup. My fever caused the coup.

Radiofreeeuropa-

Lusus Naturae has demonstrated yet another breach of logic. Confusing cause and effect. A happened and B happened afterwards. B was caused by A. Have you heard this before? There was a storm last night, I noticed the barometer dropped. The storm caused the barometer to drop. (A drop in atmospheric pressure actually caused both.)

Mr.GoonMalefactor

According to experts on talk radio shows, these insurrectionists on Christmas Island have attempted to buy Duncan Heinz Yellow Cake mix. We must nuke them before they nuke us. If your not with us your against us and God is on our side. Only a rotten no good atheist would appoint the Dalai Lama to a cabinet post. Everyone must believe that God exists. After all, if you do not accept the existence of God, then you will face the horrors of hell.”

Bkumm-

Thanks Mr.GoonMalefactor for demonstrating yet another common fallacy we find on the threads to our readers. The appeal to fear. Y is presented (a claim that is intended to produce fear). Therefore claim X is true (a claim that is generally, but need not be, related to Y in some manner) This line of “reasoning” is fallacious because creating fear in people does not constitute evidence for a claim. Think of all the problems, wars, and bad policies that could have been avoided if people only applied some critical thinking skills to the “reason” of politicians and leaders.

wahoo0u812-

He, He, there ain’t no global warmin’. I don’ care what these boiz on Christmas Island say. Global warmin’ is jes’ silly.

Neophile-

The Appeal to Ridicule is a fallacy in which ridicule or mockery is substituted for evidence, this line of “reasoning” has the following form: X, (which is some form of ridicule) is presented therefore claim C is false. This sort of “reasoning” is fallacious because mocking a claim does not show that it is false.

Hodinkerfud-

Modusoperandi is a no good ******* and so is that ********* Neophile. They are both **** and ******.

Gamahuche-

Well, Hodinkerfud; neither I nor any readers have any idea whatsoever what you are saying nor why. What we do know is that gratuitous personal attacks are of no value to anyone. Thanks for your contribution! We almost forgot about pointless name-calling. It’s never a good argument for whatever your position is.

Hodinkerfud-

Gamahuche is trying to censor me, he is a ***** and his uncle is a ******* god**** hoser. I tell ya those ******* Canadians aren’t real Americans! They eat **** ! I call Canadian bacon “Freedom Bacon”! And the Canadian Rockies are the Freedom Rockies! Look there goes some freedom geese!

Radiofreeeuropa -

Um, …right.

How do I loathe thee, let me count the ways...

Here is a fine example of daftness. Close one eye and scratch your head. There is not much to say about comments this inane. Have a laugh at the expense of the poster. I’m guessing Hodinkerfud doesn’t enjoy Molson ale.

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POSTLOG

So what is this all about? We started with a (hopefully) entertaining fictitious article. Then a (hopefully) entertaining fictitious thread of comments in which we presented some common fallacies of logic that are often seen on the site. Are we attempting to censor anyone? No! Certainly that is not at all the intention. As always, the editors of propellertalk wish only to to offer information or stimulate the conversation on various aspects of the Propeller site. We might make recommendations or suggestions, but the object is to initiate discourse on the subject at hand within the community itself. The bottom line of this article is avoiding logical fallacy and employing some critical thinking skills generally improves the site (though one might take some delight in laughing at some of the obvious fatuity). If you express yourself in a manner that is both sound and valid from a logic stance, your position will be strong. If you instead use fallacy, your position will be weak. Expect to be exposed by members of the community if you prefer fallacy. Of course, other than the propellertalk editors, any similarity to persons alive or dead is purely coincidental. (apologies in advance if there are any green, single horned, fanged cyclops who are offended by Hodinkerfud.)